Don't you love it as you're pulling out of the driveway and you see a 3 x 1 metre tag on your front fence with another little one next to it.  That's what greeted me this morning as I was heading out to sign a contract to buy a property (the most expensive decision I've ever made) and then visit my grandfather in hospital who's condition deteriorated overnight.  As if I wasn't stressed enough.  They also tagged 3 or 4 other fences in my street.  I like street art.  I like stencil art.  I like art with a message.  (I've already linked to www.stateofflux.com see my Professional Beggars article).  But the little scumbags who travel in from the burbs so they can troll around inner city neighbourhoods in the middle of the night and scrawl their pathetic little tags on people's fences are not artists. If the only way you can think of to boost your self esteem is by scribbling some pathetic made-up name on someone elses property so your equally moronic mates can see it and give you some cred then you are a complete fuckwit. Have some fucking balls.  Write your real name.  Come and knock on my door at 4am and ask me to come out and appraise your artistic skill.  Leave a card with your address on it so I can drop in and discuss your talents with your piece of shit parents.  Take some real credit for your work you spineless little dweebs!

So here you go "Mozer" (and your cheapskate mate who's obviously so poor he can't afford spray-cans and had to use a texta)  Here's your publicity.  Think you're a big man now?  Tough guy?  Gangster?  Go fuck yourself.  I'll be handing in the photos to the police on Monday so you can go on the tag database, and I'll be painting over your kindergarten quality scrawlings tomorrow morning.

If anyone recognises these tags or has any comments/suggestions on graffiti, write in! To read more about my love of graffiti click here.